Our Revolution: To Know, Grow, Go, Glow, Sow

We Were the Darkness

Beautiful Savior, we seek Your Face,
asking that we might have the grace to

Know Your heartbeat,
let it beat away our pride;
to grow like fruitful trees
by the River of Life.

To go to the darkness
we know awaits,
to drive it back even just one inch,
aglow with Light the darkness hates.

To sow seeds of truth at the world’s unmarked graves, reaping a harvest of rescued slaves.

Beautiful Savior, we seek Your Face, mindful that we too were the darkness... until someone shared the truth of Your grace.

Drivin' That Train...

If you happened to be out and about last night, and on noting the driving misdeeds of others, wondered, “Where’s a cop when you need one?” the answer to your question is that they were all at our place. Yup, every single one, I’m pretty sure.

It seems a traffic stop on Lander somewhere near us netted one stolen car and one of two car thieves. The other got away, or so he thought. Our neighbor saw him jump our fence, which set off our alarm and our dogs. Soon there were like 50 police officers, county and city, plus a K-9 unit, all over our shop yard. (I kept thinking about all the dog poop they were stepping in ;-()...) After about an hour and a half they pinned down his location on our roof and called the Fire Department for a ladder truck and got him down.

It was all pretty exciting at first. But after a bit I just went back to bed and prayed (as best I could amid all the barking and shouting). I really did! I prayed that they’d get the bad guy, but also, I prayed the bad guy’d end up knowing Jesus (I know, silly me). I wonder if the guy hiding on the roof prayed. “God, if you just get me out of this, I promise I’ll never steal another car! I’ll never do drugs again! I’ll register all my guns! I’ll floss every day!” And now he’s sitting in a jail cell thinking, “Well, God didn’t show up!”

I don’t know, I guess I should be happy: The Good Guys won. But I feel sad that there ARE bad guys. What a life! A life my Lord died for. And multiply that life by… how many? How many lives wasted in this methamphetamine-infested valley? I just don’t think anyone grows up thinking, “You know what? I’m going go grow up and be a drug addict, and I’ll pay for it by being a car thief! Can’t wait!” No, I think probably it happens in little devil-baited steps, and no one sees that locomotive coming until it’s run them down.

It affects us all.


I really don’t know why I’m blogging about this. I didn’t plan to get on this soapbox. But now that I’m here...This is something that’s really been knocking on my heart lately. Maybe it’s because of the bad area Mike and I live in…or the drug house that everyone knows about, just three doors up from us. Or the young, desperate-looking woman I saw out front there last Saturday morning.

Ever look into the eyes of a tweaker? It’s not easy to do; they avoid eye contact. But then, most people don’t go out of their way to make eye contact with a tweaker (Jesus would have). But you’ve seen them, even if you didn't know it. You've seen them if you've lived here for at least a day. If you do look in their eyes, you will see the definition of the word “haunted.”

Not sure how to end this. I guess I would just ask for prayer for our rooftop rambler. We (Mike and I) truly believe the Lord sets His angels about this place (our shop). For some reason they let this guy get past them, and maybe it’s the best thing that could have happened to him. Maybe God really DID show up on his behalf last night. I pray it’s so!

(By the way, those of my generation will recognize the title of this post from the lyrics of an old Grateful Dead song. Different drug, same train.)

A Word about No Words

I'm lying awake in bed this morning after a VERY disturbing dream... but a dream in which God was showing up in amazing ways... and I'm hearing some very DISTURBING sounds! Creaks and groans and scratches and bangs... OH MY!

I'm pretty used to strange sounds in our rickety old house behind the shop. It's just that I'm not used to THESE strange sounds. What's going on?

The dogs aren't barking, so that's a good sign. Then the outside dog starts to bark... but quickly stops. I start to put things together. After the last big storm there was quite a lot to be done. Branches were cut down. The covering over the breezeway had to be shored up. Now the wind is whipping up in advance of the next storm and what I'm hearing is the "new and improved" strange sounds at the Bartholomew home. "It's okay," the Lord reminds me. "I'm here!"

Then He brought to mind a strange plane trip I took several years ago. I had a nice little corporate gig as a safety officer back in my mid to late 30s, and one day it took me in a small four-seat puddle-jumper from Fresno to somewhere near Solvang, in the kind of the weather we're supposed to have later on here today, only worse. The clouds hung low, the rain was coming down in sheets, the wind was howling through the desolate rifts and canyons of the southern Coastal Range, and lightning was everywhere. We were flying just a couple hundred feet up (not sure why) and the plane was bouncing all over the place. Up, down, side to side, veering left, then right.

I was riding in the back next to a guy one rung higher than I on the corporate ladder who thought (wrongly) that I was gunning for his job. He was freaking out. Just freaking out. For some God reason I was totally at peace, so much so that I fell asleep, my face jammed against the rain-streaked window, and slept like a baby. With a childlike (some might say "childish") faith that everything was fine.

Then over the next few years, life got messy, I blamed God, then it got messier and I cried out to God, and here I am. (I might have left out a detail or two.) And it's still pretty messy at times. For me and for those I care about... those GOD cares about! So what's the lesson here? Honestly, I'm not sure.

I did find that I can blame God, even get nasty-angry with Him, and He doesn't strike me with lightning. At least He hasn't yet. But I'm NOT recommending that! I don't really do that so much anymore. But at the same time I wonder: Do I trust Him like that naive young lady who just didn't know how bad things could get? "Oh," says an odd little voice in my head, which I'm pretty sure isn't God's, "you STILL don't know how bad things can get!" Time to read Job again?

So what words of comfort, and of prayer, does one offer when someone's going through their own valley of the shadow of death? Job's friends are a pretty good example... of what NOT to say! But what TO say? I'm reminded of something I quoted a few postings ago: "Sometimes I wonder if the words I use are the least important part of prayer." I would add that I sometimes wonder if the words I use are the least important part of offering comfort. And honestly, there just are no words for some situations, at least not in and of our own spirit. Come Holy Ghost!

Ich bete wieder, du Erlauchter

I am praying again, Awesome One.

You hear me again, as words
from the depths of me
rush toward you in the wind.

I've been scattered in pieces,
torn by conflict,
mocked by laughter,
washed down in drink.

In alleyways I sweep myself up
out of garbage and broken glass.
with my half-mouth I stammer you,
who are eternal in your symmetry.
I lift to you my half-hands
in wordless beseeching, that I may find again
the eyes with which I once beheld you.

I am a house gutted by fire
where only the guilty sometimes sleep
before the punishment that devours them
hounds them out into the open.

I am a city by the sea
stinking into a toxic tide.
I am strange to myself, as though someone unknown
had poisoned my mother as she carried me.

It's here in all the pieces of my shame
that now I find myself again.
I yearn to belong to something, to be contained
in an all-embracing mind that sees me
as a single thing.
I yearn to be held
in the great arms of your heart--
oh let them take me now.
Into them I place these fragments, my life,
and you, God -- spend them however you want.

by Rainer Maria Rilke, from Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God (as quoted in Philip Yancey's book).

Hauntingly beautiful, thought I...

A Note from Vera Hume-Mann

I recently received the following message from a very old friend, and I wanted to pass it along.

Hey there! It’s Vera here. Gal, I was just wondering if you might appeal to your vast readership on my behalf, being as your blog is about prayer and all. You see, I have a burden I just can't hardly bear, and I have to share it with someone!

Just so you all know, I do love the Lord Jesus. I truly do! But it seems whenever I get set in my mind to do what's right and good, I up and do just the opposite. Pshaw, I know what I’m supposed to do! If I didn't, how would I know I done wrong when I done it? I want with all my heart to choose the right. But before I know it, I just turn around and do the very thing I hate. Gal, what is UP with that?

Now I’ve been a Christ-follower, let’s see… well it’s been a darn long time. I’ve even been on a few missionary trips, for crying out loud! It just seems like I should be past all this fleshly behavior by now. Well, let’s just call it what it is… SIN!

I just feel truly wretched about the whole thing. Can anyone help me? Tell me WHO can set me free from this so-called corpus moribundus?

Well, there you have it. The above appeal is true. Only the name and a few minor details have been changed to predict the inevitable. (See Romans 7:15-24)

The Garment of Righteousness II (His Amazing Love)

It occurs to me how much gobbledygook that last might sound like, so let me break it down a bit.

God is incredibly Holy. We, in and of ourselves, are not. We're just not. Think about it. No matter how good we try to be, we fall short. We might do pretty well, even be 99.9%, but bottom line, compared to Perfection, we just fall short.

If You're God, and You want to hang out with folks who aren't, you make a way to do it that fulfills the basic common-sense rules. And that Way is Jesus.

He makes everything right that ever was wrong, makes everything sing that should be a song, makes things fly free that just found their wings, makes love the rule of the land by His perfect hand.

He clothes us in "the garment of righteousness for our adorning" (from "The Right Words" by Michael Bartholomew). Just to be with us. His love is that amazing.

The Garment of Righteousness

I've said quite a bit about "the prayers of a righteous man (person)," and that we do not come to the Lord in our own righteousness. I wanted to expound on that a bit, in the words of another:

"Only the covering which Christ Himself has provided can make us meet (fitting, proper) to appear in God's presence. This covering, the robe of His own righteousness, Christ will put upon every repenting, believing soul. 'I counsel thee,' He says, 'to buy of Me... white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear.' Rev.3:18.

"This robe, woven in the loom of heaven, has in it not one thread of human devising. Christ in His humanity wrought out a perfect character, and this character He offers to impart to us. 'All our righteousness are as filthy rags.' Isa.64:6. Everything that we of ourselves can do is defiled by sin. But the Son of God 'was manifested to take away our sins; and in Him is no sin.' Sin is defined to be 'the transgression of the law.' 1 John 3:5,4. But Christ was obedient to every requirement of the law. He said of Himself, 'I delight to do Thy will, O My God; yea, Thy law is within My heart.' Ps. 40:8. When on earth, He said to His disciples, 'I have kept My Father's commandments.' John 15:10. By His perfect obedience He has made it possible for every human being to obey God's commandments.

"When we submit ourselves to Christ,

the heart is united with His heart,

the will is merged in His will,

the mind becomes one with His mind,

the thoughts are brought into captivity to Him;

we live His life. This is what it means to be clothed with the garment of His righteousness.

"Then as the Lord looks upon us He sees, not the fig-leaf garment, not the nakedness and deformity of sin, but His own robe of righteousness, which is perfect obedience to the law of Jehovah.

"The guests at the marriage feast were inspected by the king. Only those were accepted who had obeyed His requirements and put on the wedding garment. So it is with the guests at the gospel feast. All must pass the scrutiny of the great King, and only those are received who have put on the robe of Christ's righteousness." From The Wedding Garment by E. G. White.

I know E. G. White wasn't from our religious tradition, exactly, but I think she puts it clearly and succinctly. Don't we just try to weave our own righteousness? What an oxymoron is this "self-righteousness"...nothing but filthy rags! Isn't it time we trade them in for the true righteousness He wants to adorn us with?

Helpless

Warning: This book is not the kind I’m going to zoom through! Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference? Chapter 3 is titled “Just As We Are” and opens with this: “Sometimes I wonder if the words I use are the least important part of prayer. Who am I? And who is God? If I can answer those two questions, the words I pray recede. Prayer invites me to lower defenses and present the self that no other person fully knows to a God who already knows.”

The chapter includes the sections "Guilty," "Helpless," "Humble," "Doubting," "Honest," and "Exposed."

From the section titled “Helpless”: “Norwegian theologian Ole Hallesby settled on the single word helplessness as the best summary of the heart attitude that God accepts as prayer. ‘Whether it takes the form of words or not, does not mean anything to God, only to ourselves,’ he adds. ‘Only he who is helpless can truly pray.’

“What a stumbling block! Almost from birth we aspire to self-reliance. Adults celebrate it as a triumph whenever children learn to do something on their own: go to the bathroom, get dressed, brush teeth, tie shoelaces, ride a bike, walk to school. When the child stubbornly insists, ‘I do it myself!’ the parent takes secret pride in that independent spirit even when the child proceeds to make a mess of the task.

“As adults we like to pay our own way, live in our own houses, make our own decisions, rely on no outside help. We look down upon those who live off welfare or charity. Faced with an unexpected challenge, we seek out ‘self-help’ books. All the while we are systematically sealing off the heart attitude most desirable to God and most descriptive of our true state in the universe. ‘Apart from me you can do nothing,’ Jesus told his disciples, a plain fact that we conspire to deny.’”

How helpless we truly are. Thank God!

With that I wanted to share a little about how the Lord is answering the prayer I described in my post of December 31st, “The OTHER other Mary," when I surrendered my “safe place” to God. But I think that would make for too long a post (good excuse, huh?), so I’ll get to that in a future post, and leave you with this quote from one of my all-time favorite author/theologins, C. S. Lewis.

“The prayer preceding all prayers is ‘May it be the real I who speaks. May it be the real Thou that I speak to.’”

Like a Child

The ladies I pray with have been talking and thinking and praying about childlike prayer. I think I'm going to be blogging about this idea a lot more in the future, but in the meantime, I would love to hear and share to the blog any stories you may have about prayers you prayed as a child, and how God answered them.

One word you never ever hear children use when they pray is "just." "Lord, 'just' do this and if You would 'just...'"

I'm not finding fault. I use that word in prayer all the time. I think we pretty much all do. It's become part of the lingo, a "Christianese" word we "just" use without really even thinking about it. But think about it. What are we saying? "Lord, I'm only asking for this much, because I don't really think You're big enough to do anything bigger than 'just' this." We pray for the possible. But our children pray amazing, "impossible" prayers. And God answers them!

By the way, this idea about the "just" word isn't mine. I read about it some time back in The Power of Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer.

Yesterday I heard about a little boy named Clay who is seven. He is praying for his mommy to come back into his life. His buddy Wyatt is helping him with these prayers. His mother hasn't been a part of his life by her choice for pretty much as long as he can remember. He sees her maybe once a year, if that. How impossible a prayer is that? For him it's not a matter of "if," it's a matter of "when." I want to pray with Clay, too.

But more than that, I want to pray LIKE Clay.

Taxes, Kings and God's

Thinking/praying about what/if to post this morning I got a picture of a penny. Maybe that was just coming off yesterday's post, where I shared how I like my bills to line up. It's a darn good thing I don't have the same fetish about my coinage, or I'd constantly be at the 5-gallon bottle we throw our spare change into.

The above, by the way, is a now somewhat rare wheatback penny, and if you find any and don't save them yourself, you can send them my way.

Anyway, I got to thinking about the time the Pharisees and Herodians got together to trap Jesus with words by asking Him if it was lawful to pay taxes to Caeser. It occurs to me that this was a lot bigger question than just whether or not to pay taxes. (And wouldn't it have been nice if He'd said, "Nope, don't pay 'em!"?) But it likely was asked in light of the First Commandment and the dilemma for God-fearing Jews of whether it was idolatry to pay such homage to a King who also claimed to be a god.

Jesus in return asks, "Whose likeness and inscription is this?" When they reply "Caesar's," His answer, of course, is "Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." (See Matthew 22:15-22).

It feels like in my "New Year's Revolution" the Lord is asking me, "Whose likeness and inscription do YOU bear, my child?" If my answer is His, then what am I to render unto Him? All of me? And again I say, define "all."

Thy Kingdom Come

I have a couple of funny little habits. (Some might call them hang-ups, even borderline OCD.) I noticed one this morning getting my coffee. I use two Splendas, which of course have to be grabbed at one end and whipped back and forth to drive all the Splenda to the other end. The thing is they have to be lined up exactly the same for this process. It doesn’t matter which end I grab or which way they’re facing, as long as it’s the same. I’m the same way with money. All the Washingtons and Lincolns (I don’t see any of the others often enough to remember who they are) have to be facing the same way.

I got some cash out of my savings at the Credit Union some time back and the dead presidents faced every which way. “Aha!” I thought “This is WHY you can afford to pay higher interest rates. No one's taking the time to keep those guys in line!”

At the restroom at work after I’ve washed, I use the paper towels to tidy up excess water on the sink and faucet before throwing them away. An observer once noted, “I’ll bet your house is spotless!” Wrong. So wrong. My house is pretty much out of control most of the time. It’s just LITTLE things I CAN control that I’m strange about.

In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” Just think about that. There is a battle raging in our world that’s already won in Heaven. Perfect order. And perfect freedom. I don’t think the Lord has everyone lined up with their heads facing the same way in heaven. Everyone’s facing any which way they want. That just happens to be towards the Lord. Looking deep in to the Face of perfect beauty, peace and harmony.

What does it look like in our world when Heaven moves in? I think there is perfect liberty and harmony. Not the harmony of sameness (which is an oxymoron anyway), but the harmony of diversity and freedom. And not the freedom to do whatever we think we want to do (from the world’s perspective), but sometimes freedom NOT to. Not to give in to that destructive habit. Not to lose my temper with my spouse. No road rage on the way to work. Not taking that shortcut at work at my employer’s expense that no one will ever know about. Little things. Big things. To be who we were meant to be.

What will it take for us to make God’s Kingdom a reality our lives? In our community? Will it take all of me? All of you? Define "all."

Might As Well Jump

Excerpt: “My home sits in a canyon in the shadow of a large mountain along a stream named Bear Creek. During the spring snowmelt and after heavy rains the stream swells, tumbles frothily over rocks, and acts more like a river than a creek. People have drowned in it. Once I traced the origin of Bear Creek to its very source, atop the mountain. I stool on a snowfield marked by ‘sun cups,’ the bowl-shaped indentations that form as snow melts. Underneath I could hear a soft gurgling sound, and at the edge of the snow, runnels of water leaked out. These collected into a pool, then a small alpine pond, then spilled over to begin the long journey down the mountain, joining other rivulets to take shape as the creek below my house.

“It occurs to me, thinking about prayer, that most of the time I get the direction wrong. I start downstream with my own concerns and bring them to God. I inform God, as if God did not already know. I plead with God, as if hoping to change God’s mind and overcome divine reluctance. Instead, I should start upstream where the flow begins.

“When I shift direction, I realize that God already cares about my concerns… more than I do. Grace, like water, descends to the lowest part. Streams of mercy flow. I begin with God, who bears primary responsibility for what happens on earth, and ask what part I can play in God’s work on earth. ‘Let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” cried the prophet, Will I stand by the bank or jump in the stream?”
(From Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference by Philip Yancey)

I sort of feel that’s what Pastor Dave is asking us as a church. Will we stand on the side or jump in? And while I’m way behind on Sandy’s blog, A Day in the Life (only up to December 22), I’m getting that this is sort of the challenge she’s sharing, as well, from An Unstoppable Force, by Erwin Raphael McManus. And by the way, if you weren’t there yesterday to hear Pastor Dave's message, you really need to get the CD or download it at the website (http://www.newlifecc.com/). It was really powerful! AND I hope many of us will be a part of “Prayer66,” Tuesday prayer from 6:00 to 6:00 at the Youth Center.

I’m not sure what jumping in is going to be for me, and maybe doing this blog is already part of it. (As much fun as this has been, I'm ready for more!) Whatever it takes, I’m going for it. Are you ready to jump?

Hearts That Make God Smile?

Excerpt from Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference? By Philip Yancey: “…I have come to see prayer as a privilege, not a duty. Like all good things, prayer requires some discipline. Yet I believe that life with God should seem more like friendship than duty. Prayer includes moments of ecstasy and also dullness, mindless distraction and acute concentration, flashes of joy and bouts of irritation. In other words, prayer has features in common with all relationships that matter. If prayer stands as the place where God and human beings meet, then I must learn about prayer. Most of my struggles in the Christian life circle around the same two themes: why God doesn’t act the way we want God to, and why I don’t act the way God wants me to. Prayer is the precise point where those themes converge.”

This passage already strikes several chords with me… more than I should try to explain on one post.

Yesterday some of the ladies and I who pray together on Thursday mornings swapped some of our “war stories,” if you will. How sometimes you’re just in the groove and prayer flows (is that a mixed metaphor?), while at other times every potential distraction pulls you away or even turns into a major irritation.

What is striking to me as I look back on my short stint in God’s Army of Prayer is that the effectiveness of prayer is not to be measured by how it feels. When I'd hit a prayer groove, I had always expected to see huge things happen. But that’s not always the case; in fact, some of the most amazing answers have come when I felt I was getting nowhere. Which isn’t to say God doesn’t answer struggle-free prayers. But no longer will I quit just because it doesn’t “feel” like it’s “doing anything.”

I’ve got to remember that God doesn’t look at things the way I do. “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b) This was what the Lord said to Samuel regarding King-to-be David, the “man after God’s own heart.” Could it be that when one prays-on-through the dullness, the mindless distraction, the bouts of irritation, and/or whatever else gets thrown at us, God looks at that one's heart and smiles?

Book-O-Rama II

A happy and blessed New Year to any and all!

Ours came in with a bang. Two, to be exact: A major computer crash on 12/31 as a result of a brief power outage on 12/30, and a major canine injury that saw us, our dog Greta and the good Dr. Craig Brooks on a New Year's Eve rendezvous at the Taylor Vet Hospital, from whence we got home at 1:00 a.m. and he probably got home at 4:00 a.m. Greta got home at 11:00 a.m.

But that's not what I really want to blog about today. I'm so excited about a book someone ELSE is reading. Sandy Hazenberg has been sharing on her blog, A Day in the Life, from the book An Unstoppable Force, and I encourage you to check it out! It's by Erwin Raphael McManus, an author I mentioned a few posts back. I just love the picture he presents of "church." Hey, any of you pray-ers out there, if you're so inclined, let's read this book with a prayerful heart for NLCC! I hope there's a section about prayer, but no matter. I think prayer can and needs to undergird everything we think, are, say and do, and not just be a "section" of our lives.

I think I'll be going by the bookstore today. I also want to read Messy Christianity. Pastor Dave has been quoting from that and I love it. I understand Miss Terry got the last one from the the FBC (Family Bible Center) so maybe I'll check out Borders for both of them. Plus Mike and I also need a new devotional for the New Year.

I also just got two new books in the mail from Crossings, the Christian book club I belong to: Your Whole Life and Creative Prayer.

I know, I said I was going to be sharing from Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference?, and that's still my plan. I'm just multitasking!

My hope and vision for 2008 is for our church, in all we do, to become an army of doers and pray-ers. An "unstoppable force" for God's Kingdom. How different will our community look by this time next year as a result of the Lord using us to reach out to the world around us?