Friday, February 29, 2008

A Sabbath Rest

After 17 years as an employee of Emanuel Medical Center, I was let go yesterday as a cost-cutting measure. Not just me, but all the "in-house" transcriptionists. Effective immediately, Emanuel is now outsourcing all medical transcription.

It's an interesting time. I find myself genuinely excited about what the Lord has in store for me.

You can ask my Mike if this is true: Several weeks ago seemingly out of the clear blue sky I told him, "for some reason I just feel like I'm not going to be working at Emanuel much longer."

So it was kind of cool to realize firsthand that (1) yes, the Lord DOES speak to His children today, and (2) I guess I really really AM one of His children.

Forgiveness is really very freeing. I highly recommend it! If you are reading this and are harboring any unforgiveness in your heart, I say for your own sake, offload that emotion as quickly as you are able. The Lord WILL avenge, if any vengeance is called for. His Word says that is in His hand... so leave it there and rest!

I do ask for prayer for Emanuel: That those who make these kinds of decisions would always seek the Lord and trust in His ways. May they never dishonor that holy Name: God with us!

Meanwhile, I say that life can be hard, and we need to rest in Him. Count on nothing but the Lord. He is our everything, a Romans 8:28 kind of God. He is for us, so who can be against us? No one I'm going to worry about! I belong to Him... Hope you do, too!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Peace of my Mind

Yesterday (Saturday) as I was getting ready for work I was thinking about the new contact lenses I was waiting for and badly needed. I'd called to order them two weeks before and they'd never taken so long. People weren't returning my calls as to why and I was starting to suspect they'd lost my order or something. I was getting more and more ticked, to be honest.

Then I started fantasizing about going in and giving them a piece of my mind. I mean just really laying it on the line, Big Girl style! Yes, I find myself thinking that way sometimes, though not as much as I used to. But this was different, because as I pictured myself doing it, I realized I could really do it! No so long ago if something like this ever got beyond the imagining stage, I'd either lose it and cry, or just sound stupid and whiny. But I realized: NO, I could really pull this off.

Then the Holy Spirit spoke up. Actually I think He'd been speaking up but I'd kind of not been listening. He said, "What are you thinking??" or words to that effect. And I realized I couldn't do it. Not because I couldn't, but because I shouldn't. I just find it ironic that now that I can pull off something like that, I can't!

My point is that it's little road signs like this that show me that I am changing... even though the change never seems big enough or fast enough, it's happening.

Like not that long ago I couldn't imagine myself getting up in front of church at the end of a service and praying with people. And now I do. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

And can NOT do. When not doing is good.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Bla Bla Blog!

As people always seem to say on their new blogs, "everyone else is doing it, so I am, too!" or words to that effect. Sometimes just for fun I hit the "next blog" button on my blog (with parental controls in place) just to go to random blogs, and it seems like everyone IS doing it! I'm fascinated by how smart, beautiful, funny, talented, unique, and (sometimes) "not from around here" people are.

("Not from around here" is a euphemism my friend and coworker Beverly and I put into use. Whenever we'd get a new doctor at the hospital we'd ask, "how's his [or her] dictation?" If a thick accent was involved we'd simply say, "Well, he's not from around here.")

I know God knows and loves every single person on Blogger. And beyond. (I love the line from one of my favorite movies, "Galaxy Quest": "To infinity, and beyond!") It's kind of staggering to consider.

Like prayer. The question, "How can God hear everyone's prayer at once?" used to be a real stumper for me. I can remember making the choice not to pray many times because I didn't want to "bother" God with yet one more prayer. I think that may still be an issue for some, and another example of how we limit an infinite God with our finite thinking.

Philip Yancey says, "A God unbound by our rules of time has the ability to invest in every person on earth. God has, quite literally, all the time in the world for each one of us. The psalmist exclaimed that 'a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by,' and the reverse also applies: to God, one day is like a thousand years. The common question, 'How can God listen to millions of prayers at once?' betrays an inability to think outside time. I cannot imagine a being who can hear billions of prayers in thousands of languages because I am stunted by my humanity. Trapped in time, I cannot conceive of infinity. The distance between God and humanity -- a distance that no one can grasp -- is, ironically, what allows intimacy."

I so love that. All the time in the world. For me. For you!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The God Who Is, I

"Who one believes God to be is most accurately revealed not in any credo but in the way one speaks to God when no one else is listening." Nancy Mairs

I had to read that quote about three times before I got it.

Yancey goes on to describe expressions of prayer in cultures other than ours... the Nepali Buddhists with their prayer wheels, each turn of which sends a prayer to heaven. The well-dressed Japanese who pay a minimum of 50 dollars for a Shinto priest to pray on their behalf. Citizens in the high-tech nation of Taiwan who purchase "ghost money" at a Taoist temple and burn it to keep underworld ghosts from pestering them.

"In truth" he goes on to say, "Christians often treat prayer the same way. If I do my duty, then God 'owes me.' Worship becomes a kind of transaction: I've given God something, so it's God's turn to reciprocate. Prayer as transaction rather than relationship can decline into a practice more duty than joy, an occasional and awkward exercise with little connection to life -- not so different from the Buddhist monk spinning his prayer wheel or the Japanese businesswoman performing her temple ritual."

It sort of reminds of when Jesus said, "And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words." (Matthew 6:7)

I remember how overjoyed I was those many years ago when I came to the realization that I could go directly to God about anything, rather than going through the rituals of the religious tradition in which I was raised. But there have been times since, as I have begun to realize Who God really is, that I've wanted to take a step back and let someone else go there on my behalf, after all.
God's just so much more than a nice guy who wants to be my pal. (More on that in the future.)


I'm not finding fault with anyone's religion. I'm finding fault with EVERYONE'S religion... ESPECIALLY mine... my religion being all the things I do to try to build my own flimsy little tower of Babel to God. It has to come down.


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Sunday, February 17, 2008

Exposed II

Again from the Philip Yancey book I've been quoting:

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David Ford, a professor at Cambridge, asked a Catholic priest the most common problem he encountered in twenty years of hearing confession. With no hesitation the priest replied, "God." Very few of the parishioners he meets in confession behave as if God is a God of love, forgiveness, gentleness, and compassion. They see God as someone to cower before, not as someone like Jesus, worthy of our trust. Ford comments, "This is perhaps the hardest truth of any to grasp. Do we wake up every morning amazed that we are loved by God? Do we allow our day to be shaped by God's desire to relate to us?"

Reading Ford's questions, I realize that my image of God, more than anything else, determines my degree of honesty in prayer. Do I trust God with my naked self? Foolishly, I hide myself in fear that God will be displeased, though in fact the hiding may be what displeases God most. From my side, the wall seems like self-protection; from God's side it looks like lack of trust. In either case, the wall will keep us apart until I acknowledge my need and God's surpassing desire to meet it. When I finally approach God, in fear and trembling, I find not a tyrant, but a lover.

The apostle Paul prayed "that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." I doubt Paul prayed this prayer once only; for my part, I have to pray it every day. The most important purpose of prayer may be to let our true selves be loved by God.

[God] does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103:10-14

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Okay, so the next chapter is titled "The God Who Is." Which, as I understand it, is basically the meaning of "Yahweh." I've been reading ahead, and I think I'm in way over my head. Sort of like I felt when I read (tried to) A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. Well maybe not quite that out there. But sort of. Like I can get what it's saying for a flash, then it's gone.

I'm so glad God sometimes isn't that easy to "get." It's more intriguing this way, don't you think? And I have a feeling that "smart" on this world's terms means nothing when it comes to "getting" God. (See 1 Corinthians 2:14-16) I'm so thankful that God "gets" me, even when I don't fully "get" Him. He's my everything... And I live in the hope that one day I'm going to fully appreciate what that really means!

Friday, February 15, 2008

It Works!

I say it all the time about prayer. "It works!" Maybe you say it, too.

I don't know, something about that just bothers me. Like we're talking about some kind of kitchen appliance that's not on the fritz at the moment.

"Is your refrigerator running?"

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

"Do you have your God in a box?"

Maybe from now on I'll try to say, "Prayer is amazing!"

Prayer IS a amazing. Because GOD is amazing.

So maybe by that line of reasoning, it's okay to say "prayer works." Because GOD works! "But Jesus replied, 'My Father never stops working, so why should I?" (See John 5:17)

What I know? It's that prayer "availeth much!!"

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Exposed, Part I

Again from Philip Yancey’s book, Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference?, Part One “Keeping Company With God, Chapter 3 “Just As We Are,” section titled “Exposed.” Whew!!

I’ve been reading this particular section over and over, trying to figure out how to refine it down to something I would share on this blog, but I just couldn’t stand to take anything out, so I present it in its entirety (in two parts). I’m not sure why, exactly, but it just hits me squarely between the eyes every time I read it.

I think about my kids, who know me so, so well. And my husband, who (hopefully) knows me even better. But God knows me completely. All of me. Every hiccup. Every wart, chin hair and evil thought. And how glad or mad I am about THAT fact may define the state of my soul at any given moment.

So all of the following is an excerpt (part I).

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It occurred to me one day that though I often worry about whether or not I sense the presence of God, I give little thought to whether God senses the presence of me. When I come to God in payer, do I bare the deepest, most hidden parts of myself? Only when I do so will I discover myself as I truly am, for nothing short of God’s light can reveal that. I feel stripped before that light, seeing a person far different from the image I cultivate for myself and for everyone around me.

God alone knows the selfish motives behind my every act, the vipers’ tangle of lust and ambition, the unhealed wounds that paradoxically drive me to appear whole. Prayer invites me to bring my whole life into God’s presence for cleansing and restoration. Self-exposure is never easy, but when I do it I learn that underneath the layers of grime lies a damaged work of art that God longs to repair.

“We cannot make Him visible to us, but we can make ourselves visible to Him,” said Abraham Joshua Heschel. I make the attempt with hesitation, shame, and fear, but when I do so I feel those constraints dissolving. My fear of rejection yields to God’s embrace. Somehow, in a way I can only trust and not understand, presenting to God the intimate details of my life gives God pleasure.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

I think of the way mothers dote on their infants, who offer so little in return. Every sneeze, every turn of the head and dart of the eyes, every whimper and smile the mother scrutinizes as if studying for a test on infantile behavior. If a human mother responds with such absorbing love, how much more so God.

We humans represent the only species on earth with whom God can hold a conversation. Only we can articulate praise or lament. Only we can form words in response to the miracle, and also the tragedy, of life. We dare not devalue this, our unique role in the cosmos, to give words to existence, words addressed to our creator. God eagerly bends an ear toward those words.

End of excerpt.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Unveiled Faces?

"When Moses came down the mountain carrying the stone tablets... he wasn't aware that his face glowed because he had spoken to the LORD face to face." (Exodus 34:29) Moses even had to veil his face before the people, because this glow kind of freaked them out. (See Exodus 34:29-35)

And what about us? But "all of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." (2 Corinthians 3:18)

So my question is, if we pray, spending time in God's presence, speaking with Him face to face, won't His glory be reflected in our lives before others? Maybe prayer is actually one of the most powerful ways we share the gospel with the world, even if we never say a word. Not that I'm advocating silence... I'm just wondering.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

You're a Star!

I’m always keeping an eye (and ear) out for unique gift ideas, especially since my new resolve a couple of years ago to shop for Christmas all through the year. Then I heard about "the Star Registry." I include the link NOT because I’m hoping anyone will go in for the idea, but just so you'll know I’m not making this up.

Last Christmas with a few family members I still wanted a “wow gift” for, it seemed to have possibilities. Name a real star after someone? Hmmm... How would that work? What bang do I get for my buck if I “name" a star through the Star Registry?

Let me quote (in part) from their FAQ.

Q: Can I name a star?
A: Yes. You can dedicate a star to someone special. We offer a Gift Package
where we select a special star in the sky and record your Star Name and Star
Date. The Gift Package includes a beautiful parchment Certificate, a Sky Chart
with your name and the star's coordinates and an informative booklet on
astronomy. We publish all names in the astronomical compendium Your Place in the
Cosmos©, which is registered in the U.S. Copyright Office.

Q: Am I buying the star?
A: No. We do not own the star (Michele says "No duh"), so we cannot sell it
to you. This is like adopting the star. This star is associated with that
special someone. It is something you can point at to know that there is
something special out there for you.

Q: Will the scientific community recognize my star name?
A: No. (Michele says "I'm crushed!") We are a private company that provides
Gift Packages. Astronomers will not recognize your name because your name is
published only in our Star catalog. We periodically print a book called Your
Place in the Cosmos © which lists the stars that we have named.

Q: Can I return the product?
A: Yes. If you are not completely satisfied, you may return your product
for a full refund. We want you to appreciate our products and if you are not
happy, then we are not happy.

So! (Michele says), “I’m not happy with this star. First off, it’s way too bright. And hot. And how can I point at (to) it if I don't even know where IN the heaven it is. Plus, it doesn’t even answer to its name! "White dwarf"? "Red giant”? I really think I want to return this "product"!

Then I got it. HELLO??!! The stars already HAVE names! “(The Lord) counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them.” Psalm 147:4

And please note that the only thing "registered" in the U.S. Copyright Office is their book of star names. They simply publish a book of star names people have made up that you can buy (and more money for them), and that NO ONE refers to except folks who have paid to "name" a star. Basically they give you the coordinates of some star that exists and charge you for the privilege of calling out a star that already has a name from the Lord and will only be referred to by coordinates by the scientific community.

“Create a pretend need, then make people pay to have it fulfilled.” Is that a motto from hell, or what?

Disclaimer: If you have had a star named after you or someone you love via this method, I am very sorry. I am not trying to find fault or burst your bubble. I have made many ill-advised purchases over the years and have no basis on which to judge anyone’s transactions. Note also that I came very close to giving this as a gift to several people. We’re all learning together!

So I was reminded of this Star Registry thing because of Valentine’s Day. I’m hearing the same ad again, and this time I’m ready with my Bible verse in hand.

Not only has the Lord named the stars... He has named you and me with "a new name that no one knows except the one who receives it." (See Revelation 2:17) I think the Lord gives names to the things He creates. As parents we are given the right to name our children. This is just a type and shadow of the fact that God reserves the right to name His creation.

And by His Word it was created.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Between Super Bowl and Super Tuesday

Yes, I've changed the look of my blog. I happened to go to Pastor Jon's blog for the first time, and lo and behold, he had the same template. He's had a blog longer than I have, so I decided it was time to change. I liked that template and I'm sad to see it go, but I like the new one, too.

What about that Super Bowl? We don't get cable, so I had to wrangle an invite from my sister and bro-in-law to watch the Super Bowl. They'd just purchased an HDTV. What a difference, I have to admit! The game was awesome! And folks thought the Giants didn't have a prayer!

Okay, that's my thinly disguised way to justify talking about football on a blog about prayer. I could link prayer to Super Tuesday, as well, but I'm not goin' there! Except to say I think some of our politicians would do well to consider God's "providential will." (See Sandy's blog entry about the Super Bowl... the one from today, not the "butt cake" one.) "The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes." (Proverbs 21:1)

Then I felt so challenged today by Gena's January 30 blog entry, and I urge anyone who hasn't already read it to do so.

By the way, wasn't church just so awesome yesterday? Sports and politics are just parts of our lives, but it occurs to me that what's going on with our church is so much more relevant to my life. And THAT'S exciting!

Friday, February 1, 2008

All I Can Do Is Pray?

Excerpt from Hope for Each Day: Prayer Releases God's Power

Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

How many times have you heard someone say, "All I can do is pray"?

All I can do is pray? You might as well say to a starving man, "All I can do is offer you food," or to a sick person, "All I can do is give you medicine that will make you well," or to a poor child, "All I can do is buy the toy you most want for your birthday."

Praying unlocks the doors of Heaven and releases the power of God. James 4:2 says, "You do not have because you do not ask." The Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" (Phil. 4:6).

This is true not only for our needs but the needs of others. So often our prayers focus only on ourselves. But God wants to use us, through our prayers, to touch the lives of other people as well. For whom should you be praying this day?

(Michele says) I really love this; I've thought about it often since last August 1st, the day it's from in the devotional. I do have one change and one addition, however. I know, this is Billy Graham we're talking about! Believe me, I have more respect for that man than I can possibly describe here and now. But for me, I would put that last question, "For whom could you be praying this day?" This opens up so many more possibilities, and sounds more like the joy I'm finding prayer to be rather just another item on my to-do list, which it certainly isn't!

The addition is just that I wanted to continue the thought of James 4:2. "You do not have because you do not ask. (v.3) You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives." So as not to think we can just ask God for anything and it's done!

As for whom I could be praying, there is a certain individual that keeps coming to mind in prayer. I'm not really sure if God's bringing her to my mind, or I'm "bringing" her to God's mind... or both! But that's a mere technicality. I love her and am concerned about her, though not for any particular reason I can put my finger on. I just am, and I'm telling the Lord about it, that's all.