Doing My Work Heartily...

I haven't had anything interesting to say since losing my job... not that I ever did! And I STILL don't! I've worked more and harder since being let go than I have in a long time. I'll explain: For at least the short-term I got picked up by the company that Emanuel is outsourcing to, primarily to work on the Radiology module which isn't "going over" to the new company for reasons I don't know enough "computer geek" to explain or even understand myself. So I'm still at my old workstation doing Radiology, while not having to answer phones or do any of the other troubleshooting I used to help with, since I DON'T REALLY WORK THERE! In the meantime I'm trying to learn their main systems, which so far don't strike me as very user-friendly, but it's probably too soon to tell. Since being "canned" (I love using that word! It sounds so dramatic!) I have worked every single day except last Sunday. And I'll be working today, as well. I think they may have underestimated the volume of work that'd be coming from Emanuel.

This morning I feel like I've been run over by a truck; the fibromyalgia is screaming at me, with my dirty house chiming in. So why would I want to do this to myself, while seemingly helping out an employer who maybe didn't show a lot of loyalty to me (and others)? For the very simple reason that I felt like the Lord asked me to. With several Bible verses to reinforce the idea. Didn't tell me... He asked me, very lovingly and graciously. He's my very life... How could I refuse Him?

No one asked about the dentist, but I'll tell you anyway. I have a big phobia about going to the dentist. I needed two fillings redone on opposite sides of my mouth. In a seemingly nonsensical move I decided to have them both done at the same time just to get the whole thing out of the way. Guess when I got that done? You guessed it... on the very last day of my dental coverage. Go figure... "more than coincidence"!

Still no word on the COBRA insurance, but Elizabeth is finally improving now on steroids.

Thanks for all the prayers, and for all the words of encouragement. The Family of God rocks!!!

Helpless

Warning: This book is not the kind I’m going to zoom through! Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference? Chapter 3 is titled “Just As We Are” and opens with this: “Sometimes I wonder if the words I use are the least important part of prayer. Who am I? And who is God? If I can answer those two questions, the words I pray recede. Prayer invites me to lower defenses and present the self that no other person fully knows to a God who already knows.”

The chapter includes the sections "Guilty," "Helpless," "Humble," "Doubting," "Honest," and "Exposed."

From the section titled “Helpless”: “Norwegian theologian Ole Hallesby settled on the single word helplessness as the best summary of the heart attitude that God accepts as prayer. ‘Whether it takes the form of words or not, does not mean anything to God, only to ourselves,’ he adds. ‘Only he who is helpless can truly pray.’

“What a stumbling block! Almost from birth we aspire to self-reliance. Adults celebrate it as a triumph whenever children learn to do something on their own: go to the bathroom, get dressed, brush teeth, tie shoelaces, ride a bike, walk to school. When the child stubbornly insists, ‘I do it myself!’ the parent takes secret pride in that independent spirit even when the child proceeds to make a mess of the task.

“As adults we like to pay our own way, live in our own houses, make our own decisions, rely on no outside help. We look down upon those who live off welfare or charity. Faced with an unexpected challenge, we seek out ‘self-help’ books. All the while we are systematically sealing off the heart attitude most desirable to God and most descriptive of our true state in the universe. ‘Apart from me you can do nothing,’ Jesus told his disciples, a plain fact that we conspire to deny.’”

How helpless we truly are. Thank God!

With that I wanted to share a little about how the Lord is answering the prayer I described in my post of December 31st, “The OTHER other Mary," when I surrendered my “safe place” to God. But I think that would make for too long a post (good excuse, huh?), so I’ll get to that in a future post, and leave you with this quote from one of my all-time favorite author/theologins, C. S. Lewis.

“The prayer preceding all prayers is ‘May it be the real I who speaks. May it be the real Thou that I speak to.’”

Connecting the Dots

Something happened at my work recently and I just connected the dots yesterday. It wasn't a big thing (at least not from my perspective). But the Holy Spirit jogged my memory (the way my memory has been lately it HAD to be Him) and I realized it was something I'd prayed about many times over the last few years. And not in big desperate prayers, just in little "thought/prayer breaths." The lesson was that GOD ANSWERS PRAYER. He answers small prayers, big prayers, one-time prayers (though He prefers repeat prayers I think... see Luke 18:1-8), bold prayers, sissy prayers... prayers that climb on rocks! You get the picture and I date myself yet again.

He answers. Even prayers we forgot we prayed. HE doesn't forget. I don't know about you, but for me that is so comforting, I just want to climb back into my nice warm bed with my snugly dog and snugly husband... oh, that'd be the other way around... and bask in the warm glow of God's lovingkindness.

To quote Chuck Spurgeon, "Love knocks at (God's) door until He opens." And that door isn't locked and barred, as far as I can tell!

Rain

Let me say from the outset I know and totally believe that our God is sovereign. He does what He determines to do and is not some sort of heavenly bellhop waiting to fulfill our every whim.

That said, ever since I felt God calling me to start a blog about prayer, it’s almost seemed like He’s answering even my silly little prayers. Maybe to make a point. I mean, I know He always answers prayer, though maybe not as we expect. But this has really been like when I was a little kid and didn’t know any better than to pray for silly impossible things.

Okay, let me get to the point. (And this is just ONE example.)

On the way to church Sunday morning (just two days ago!), my husband voiced a quick prayer for rain, claiming that we really need it. He bemoaned the fact that there was NO RAIN in the forecast except for a small possibility by the very end of the 10-day forecast on the Weather Channel (www.weather.com). I agreed with him in prayer and added, “And Lord, let it even rain in the next day or two in the face of what the meteorologists have all predicted!” Right then we noticed the wind was out of the south, which my Dad taught me always portends rain.

We awoke this morning to the sound of rain. Less than 48 hours later. And it rained more than a little. I was wow-wowed.

THEN I worried about everyone whose day/crops/life/commute/wedding preparation/_________(fill in the blank) had been ruined by the rain. But would a child in wow-wow mode so worry? Hmmm?